On paper, Knights of the Rose is everything I ever wanted in a show. A Shakespearean rock musical, with a soundtrack featuring the likes of Bon Jovi, REM and Muse, and a cast of impressive West End talent, many of them sporting guyliner and leather trousers whilst rocking out with an electric guitar and a big sword. What’s not to love?
In practice… well, it’s now been 24 hours, and I still don’t quite know what I watched – literally, it’s impossible to tell if we’re meant to take Knights of the Rose seriously or treat it as the big silly spoof that it is. And if we have to ask the question, I have a worried feeling that means it’s the former.
Created by Jennifer Marsden and directed by Racky Plews, Knights of the Rose is the story of Prince Gawain (Andy Moss) and his trusty band of knights, who’ve been away for years fighting a war against various enemies of the realm. When they come home victorious, everyone rejoices – not least the beautiful Princess Hannah (Katie Birtill) and Lady Isabel (Rebekah Lowings), who are immediately proposed to by Sir Hugo (Oliver Savile) and Prince Gawain respectively, much to the distress of the ladies’ other suitors, Sir Palamon (Chris Cowley) and Sir Horatio (Matt Thorpe). As it turns out, the lovers’ happiness is short-lived, because the men are immediately called away to fight again – for reasons that are unclear – and this time they may not all return…
It all gets off to a promising start, with a suitably macho rendition of Bon Jovi’s Blaze of Glory from the returning knights. Musically, this is a sign of things to come, and Act 1 is basically hit after hit – the women are Holding Out For a Hero while the knights are Addicted to Love (more on that in a minute); there’s a brilliantly surreal moment when Sir Hugo woos Princess Hannah with a bit of Enrique Iglesias’ Hero, and it all comes to a dramatic, heartfelt conclusion with Meat Loaf’s Is Nothing Sacred, as the characters mourn the end of love affairs that have lasted approximately three minutes. In between musical numbers, the script is a patchwork of quotes from Shakespeare, Chaucer, Marlowe, Keats, Tennyson, Byron, Kipling and more; the literary references are so numerous that they take up three whole pages in the programme. It’s all extremely cheesy – but quite enjoyably so, as long as you’re in the mood for a bit of silliness.
Unfortunately, the show uses up most of its best material before the interval, and by the time we return it seems to have rather run out of steam. A couple of protracted death scenes are paired with such bizarre music choices that they become more funny than tragic, while a lacklustre finale leaves us feeling distinctly unsatisfied – and only partly because some of us spent the entire night waiting in vain for Livin’ on a Prayer.
And therein lies the most frustrating thing about Knights of the Rose: the wasted potential of a show that sounded so promising. Some of the best tracks are thrown away – Everybody Hurts and Don’t Speak are prime examples – while others, like The Calling’s Wherever You Will Go, bear such tenuous links to what’s happening on stage that it becomes very hard to take even the best performances seriously. The plot is thin; even an attempt to make things interesting by introducing a villain ends with a bit of a whimper, and – possibly most irritating of all, particularly given the female-led creative team behind the show – the women serve absolutely no purpose except as beautiful love interests for the men to fight over. (This being Shakespeare of sorts, I kept half hoping at least one of them would disguise herself as a boy and head off to war, but sadly not.)
But let’s try and end on a positive note, because despite everything the show does still manage to be quite fun. It’s surreal, utterly mental fun – but if you’re willing to embrace the madness (and you’re not a diehard scholar of Shakespeare) there’s an entertaining enough evening to be had.
Can’t see the map on iPhone? Try turning your phone to landscape and that should sort it. I don’t know why but I’m working on it… 😉