Review: The Full Monty at the Orchard Theatre

Incredibly, this year it’s two decades since The Full Monty first hit the big screen. Now it’s arrived on stage, and is being greeted with all the hysterical screaming you might expect. But Bums of Steel and dodgy thongs aside, the adapted stage version also retains all the heart and humour of the classic British movie, and the final reveal (so to speak) is well worth the wait.

Set in Sheffield in the 80s, this is the story of Gaz, Dave and their mates, who find themselves out of work and down on their luck – until the Chippendales come to town, and give Gaz a brainwave… With all the Dad dancing, classic tunes and inappropriate behaviour you could wish for, the play, like the movie before it, also brings its brusque Northern sense of humour to some pretty weighty issues including politics, mental health, family, body image and sexuality.

Photo credit: Matt Crockett
Photo credit: Matt Crockett

Now, with all due respect to Robert Carlyle et al, the cast for the stage version of The Full Monty is considerably better looking than I remember from the movie. But former soap hunks Gary Lucy, Chris Fountain and Anthony Lewis aren’t just here for eye candy, (though they certainly tick that particular box) and deliver some sensitive performances, along with their fellow troupe members Andrew Dunn, Louis Emerick and Kai Owen. In fact in amongst the mayhem there are some really touching scenes, particularly between Gaz (Gary Lucy) and his son Nathan (Reiss Ward), and between the depressed Lomper (Anthony Lewis) and happy-go-lucky Guy (Chris Fountain). Despite everything they’re going through, what makes this story so enjoyable is the relationships between the characters, and this cast have great chemistry throughout. Just one minor gripe: it might have been the angle or the accents, but I found it sometimes quite hard to catch all the dialogue, and judging by the lively audience response, missed a few of the best lines.

Photo credit: Matt Crockett
Photo credit: Matt Crockett

Adapted by original screenwriter Simon Beaufoy, the show includes all the classic scenes (queue dancing, anyone?), which adapt really well for the stage and help to whip the audience up into a frenzy of expectation. And we’re still able to travel all over Sheffield thanks to Robert Jones’ multi-functional set, which with a quick change of props, lighting and backdrop becomes derelict factory, working men’s club, job centre and more.

The Full Monty is a fun night out, whether you’ve seen the movie before or you’re a first-timer. Expect plenty of bawdy humour alongside some more introspective moments, and of course the explosive finale, which is everything we wanted it to be. This is hen party theatre at its finest – but there’s substance as well as style here, and the resulting show is satisfying in more ways than one.

The Full Monty is at the Orchard Theatre until 18th February.

Review: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at the Orchard Theatre

When I was 10, my parents took me to see Joseph at the London Palladium. To say I was excited is something of an understatement; for reasons I won’t go into, I was a little bit in love with the star, Phillip Schofield, and it was also – as far as I can remember – my first ever West End show. Ever since, my mum’s enjoyed reminiscing about how I was entranced from start to finish, and so began a lifelong obsession with theatre that led eventually to this very blog.

So it’s fair to say Joseph is a show that holds a pretty special place in my heart. Any chance I’ve had to see it again since has brought back those memories of childlike glee – and Bill Kenwright’s touring production, starring X Factor winner Joe McElderry, is no exception. By the time the curtain rose at the Orchard last night, I was practically bouncing up and down in my seat like the excited ten-year-old of 25 years ago, much to my sister’s amusement. (I wasn’t the only die-hard fan in the audience, either; partway through I noticed someone in the front row with pom-poms.)


For those not familiar with the show, it’s based on the biblical story of Joseph and his 11 jealous brothers. When their dad Jacob surprises his favourite son with a fancy new coat, his brothers beat him up and sell him into slavery (as you do). After various ups and downs, Joseph’s talent for interpreting dreams brings him fame and fortune, and leads him eventually to an emotional reunion with his father and guilt-stricken brothers.

Once the show got underway, it all came flooding back: Andrew Lloyd Webber’s familiar tunes that take us on a world tour of musical styles; Tim Rice’s witty lyrics, including jokes that I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t have understood the first time around; the big, colourful sets with charmingly basic props that put you in mind of a (very) high-budget school play (in the absence of the much-loved turntable from previous productions, Jacob’s inflatable sheep were probably my favourite bit, not least because they needed a bit of help from the cast to stand upright). It also turns out I still know all the words to every song, including the 29 colours of Joseph’s coat, in order – I dazzled my sister with this piece of useless trivia before the show started, and she did a very good job of looking impressed.

Speaking of being impressed, I’d heard good reports of Joe McElderry’s Joseph, and he didn’t disappoint, with powerful vocals and an easy charm. He’s said in interviews that Close Every Door is one of his favourite moments, and it shows – his version is up there with the best I’ve heard. Britain’s Got Talent star Lucy Kay makes a confident musical theatre debut as the Narrator, and Ben James-Ellis has us all rocking and rolling as the Pharaoh; as always, I wished we could have seen more of him.

Photo credit: Mark Yeoman

Knowing a show inside and out can have its disadvantages, and ironically being a super fan probably made me more critical than most… but even so my complaints are few and far between. A couple of the musical numbers, including the one that closes the first act, feel like they’ve been cut short – an odd decision given it’s not a very long show anyway. Act 2 has, for me, lost a little bit of its humour, and one or two of the best one-liners (“it takes a man who knows no fear to wrestle… with a goat” still makes me giggle every time) were drowned out by the music and I suspect anyone who didn’t know the lyric would have missed it.

But I’m nitpicking. Joseph is, as ever, a fun, colourful and brilliantly bonkers night out for the whole family. It may be 25 years since I first saw it, and incredibly almost 50 since it was written, but one thing’s for sure – this is a show that will never really get old, and I have no doubt I’ll still be bouncing excitedly in my seat and embarrassing family members another two decades from now. Here’s hoping, anyway.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is at the Orchard Theatre until 11th February.

Smile! A Fundraising Concert for Nathan

On 12th February, the Orchard Theatre in Dartford will be hosting Smile! a fundraising concert featuring a stellar cast of West End performers, in support of seven-year-old Nathan Box. Nathan has a rare brain tumour called Hypothalamic Harmartoma, which causes him to have more than 25 seizures daily and is having a devastating effect on his everyday life and development. He recently appeared on ITV News – this video contains some upsetting footage.

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The good news is that Nathan’s condition is curable; the bad is that the necessary treatment’s only available in Texas. His family have successfully raised the £100k they need to pay for the treatment itself, but now need to find an additional £50k to cover flights, accommodation, extra tests, scans, travel insurance and any added costs they may encounter when Nathan’s in the States.

Tickets for Smile! cost just £30, which is a bargain price to see a cast of over 100 including the likes of Lyn Paul (Blood Brothers), Simon Lipkin (Avenue Q), Dean Chisnall (Shrek The Musical) and Hugh Maynard (Miss Saigon), along with a live 42-piece orchestra led by the current musical director of Blood Brothers. The performers are all giving their time for free and every penny collected from ticket sales will go to Nathan. And thanks to an anonymous donor, all the money raised by the concert up to £20k will be doubled, meaning the family could raise as much as £40k in one night.

all-so-far

For anyone who can’t make it to the concert but would like to show their support, there’ll also be a sponsored seat scheme. This again costs £30, and every sponsored seat purchased is donated to Ellenor Children’s Hospice, allowing a child in their care a free night out at the theatre.

This promises to be a spectacular night of musical theatre, for a really good cause. To book tickets visit the Orchard Theatre website, or to purchase a sponsored seat, call the Ticket Office on 01322 220000.

Or find out more and help spread the word by following Smile For Nathan on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Here’s the full cast list so far:

LYN PAUL– New Seekers, Blood Brothers, Taboo, Cabaret
HUGH MAYNARD– John in Miss Saigon (West End & DVD), Sweeney Todd in Sweeney Todd, A Christmas Carol, The Lion King, Notre Dame De Paris, Follies, We Will Rock You, Dancing in the Street, Sister Act and many more!
SIMON LIPKIN– West End Productions of Avenue Q, Rock of Ages , Guys and Dolls along side Rebel Wilson, Spamalot, Assassins, Disaster Musical as well as many more!
DEAN CHISNALL– Shrek in Shrek- The Musical ( Theatre Royal Drury Lane West End & UK and Ireland Tour), Love Never Dies (Adelphi), La Cage aux Folles (Playhouse), Never Forget (Savoy and tour), Evita (Adelphi), The Women in White (Palace)
JOE SLEIGHT– Wicked (WestEnd) ‘Cover Boq’, Midsummer Nights Dream (Middle Temple Hall London) ‘Puck’, Blood Brothers (UK Tour) ‘Perkins’ & ‘Peter Pan in Peter Pan at the Wycombe Swan’
JENNA LEE JAMES– Scaramouche, Meatloaf and KillerQueen in ‘We Will Rock You’, of whom she is the ONLY person in world to have played all 3 female leads. Narrator in ‘Joseph’, Mary in ‘Tonight’s The Night’ & Alternate Donna in ‘Mamma Mia’
PAUL WILKINS– Marius in Les Miserables (West End, Asia, Manila, Singapore & Dubai)
MICHELLE PENTECOST– Grace Farrell – Annie, Vava – Paraside Moscow, Elphaba – Wicked, & Eva Peron – Evita
NANCY HILL– Grease (West End), Tracy in Hairspray, Sweeney Todd (ENO) with Emma Thompson
LAURA HARRISON– Lucille Frank in the Hope Mill Theatres production of ‘Parade’, Donna Marie/Miss Jones Cover Mrs Lyons in ‘Blood Brothers’, Tiger Lily in ‘Peter Pan’, Audrey in ‘Little Shop of Horrors’
JODIE BETH MEYER– Understudy for Jodie Prenger in Tell Me on a Sunday, Petra in A Little Night Music, High School Musical (UK Tour), Aspects of Love (UK Tour), Pirates of Penzance, Svetlana in Chess and Eponine in Les Miserables (Channel Island tours)
MELANIE BRIGHT- We Will Rock You (UK Tour) The Who’s Tommy (English Theatre Frankfurt and European Tour) Quasimodo (King’s Head) The Gypsy ‘Acid Queen’ in Tommy (Winter Gardens) and Les Misérables (Queen’s Theatre) where she understudied and played the role of Fantine. Film includes Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Warner Bros) and Delilah in Samson and Delilah.
DEAN KILFORD– Perkins and Understudy Eddie – Blood Brothers (UK Tour), Dandini/Buttons- Cinderella, Dick Whittington- Dick Whittington, Sunday Night at the Palladium & is the current host and commentator for The Non League Show!
All images used with permission from Nathan’s family.

Review: Not Dead Enough at the Orchard Theatre

Guest review by Mandy Southgate

Prolific author Peter James requires no introduction to the stage. Adaptations of his books The Perfect Murder and Dead Simple were sell-out successes in the West End and toured around the UK. Not Dead Enough is the latest of his books to become a play and we are promised an evening of thrilling suspense and mystery.

Three murders. One suspect. No proof.

Detective Superintendent Roy Grace returns with a crime that will test him to the limits. On the night his wife is murdered, Brian Bishop claims to be sixty miles away, asleep in his bed. No matter how much DS Grace likes him for the crime, he simply can’t pin it on Bishop. Meanwhile, DS Grace is still dealing with the disappearance of his own wife. Could the two cases be related?


Directed by Olivier Award-winner Ian Talbot and starring Shane Richie as DS Roy Grace, Not Dead Enough begins its national tour at the Orchard Theatre in Dartford before moving to Milton Keynes and Woking.

Not Dead Enough is a lot of fun. It is quick-paced, full of suspense and the audience has to pay careful attention in order to sort through the plethora of clues and red herrings. If it is any indication, by the final minutes of the first half, I was balancing precariously on the edge of my seat, eyes fixed firmly on the stage. Just remember that you can’t always believe what your own eyes are telling you and sometimes it is a case of not looking closely enough.

Despite the serious subject matter, Not Dead Enough is very funny, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not. Then again, with the harrowing crimes being committed on stage, it may just be that the audience’s mirth was more nervous laughter than anything else. 

Not Dead Enough is small, with just nine people (ten if you include a dead body). Shane Richie is joined on stage by Michael Quartey as DS Glenn Branson. Where DS Grace is focused and often desperate, DS Branson is irreverent and daring. Laura Whitmore plays Cleo Morey, the chief mortician and love interest to DS Grace.

Stephen Billington, best known for playing the dastardly Greg Kelly in Coronation Street, plays Brian Bishop. It is only after the big reveal at the end of the play that you realise just how good his performance was and how he had been giving the audience very subtle clues as to the real story the whole time.

One of the most interesting aspects of any stage production is the set design and use of space. The stage design for Not Dead Enough was simple and static, dividing the stage into the mortuary, office, interview room and street. This clever design allowed the story to switch seamlessly between scenes, allowing a pace and dynamic more often seen in television productions than stage. It was very impressive.

I enjoyed Not Dead Enough and look forward to future plays in the Peter James DS Roy Grace franchise.

Not Dead Enough is running at the Orchard Theatre in Dartford until Saturday 28 January 2017. Visit Peter James’s website for details on future dates.

Review: Ghost the Musical at the Orchard Theatre

When thinking back on classic movies from my youth, Ghost is one that I always tend to forget about. I blame Dirty Dancing for this, mostly; for some unfathomable reason, that particular Patrick Swayze movie always takes first place in my mind.

Which is a shame, actually, because Ghost is a great story, with a bit of everything: tears, laughter, life after death and good old-fashioned murder. And now it also has songs, thanks to Dave Stewart and Glen Ballard, who along with the movie’s screenwriter Bruce Joel Rubin adapted it for the stage back in 2011. Tonight was my second visit, having previously seen Ghost during its West End run a few years back – so how did Bill Kenwright’s new touring production compare?

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On the whole, the show is pretty faithful to the movie, though a couple of big events get slightly rewritten to make them work on stage. A quick recap for anyone who doesn’t know the plot: Sam and his girlfriend Molly are building the perfect life together, until they’re attacked one night and Sam is fatally shot. Unable to leave while Molly’s still in danger, Sam enlists the help of the only living person who can hear him, fraudulent psychic Oda Mae Brown, to bring his killer to justice and say a final farewell to the woman he loves.

Tonight’s show in Dartford saw the debut of Carolyn Maitland in the role of Molly – and it’s fair to say she smashed it, with spot on vocals and a genuinely heartbreaking performance as Sam’s bereaved girlfriend (and she also remembers not to look at him when he’s standing right in front of her, which I imagine must be a pretty difficult thing to adjust to). Andy Moss, continuing in his role as Sam, has a slight tendency to overact during his musical numbers, and his vocals don’t always live up to those of his co-star – but the chemistry between the pair is touchingly believable, especially for the first night of a new partnership.

Oda Mae Brown is an absolute gift of a part, and West End star Jacqui Dubois seizes it with both hands. Like Whoopi Goldberg before her, there’s no doubt she gets all the best lines, and they’re delivered with perfect comic timing and a fabulously sassy attitude; it’s a shame we have to wait till well into Act 1 for her first appearance.

The score is actually better than I remember, and includes some really quite beautiful numbers, with Molly’s spine-tingling solo, With You, the absolute highlight for me. And of course no production of Ghost would be complete without Unchained Melody, which makes several appearances (and yes, they brought the potter’s wheel with them).

Photo credit: Matt Martin
Photo credit: Matt Martin

Where this production slightly falls down compared to its West End predecessor is in the special effects. Last time, I remember being left open-mouthed when Sam walked through closed doors, or someone who I just saw drop dead on one side of the stage suddenly appeared on the other, and I vowed to pay more attention next time to see how they did it. Apparently, in this production those mind-boggling effects have been stripped back so we can all focus more on the love story, and sadly what’s left is not as impressive. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still some pretty cool stuff going on – but let’s just say this time I could see the strings, and it slightly took the shine off.

That said, Ghost is still a great show and well worth a visit, especially if you love the movie. Get ready to laugh, cry, tap your foot and, best of all, join in with the cheesy dialogue (all together now: “Ditto…”) – then head home and curl up on the sofa for a Swayze double bill.

Ghost the Musical is at the Orchard Theatre until 21st January.